A beautiful girl, with a beautiful life, opens up.. and I am so glad she did! Thank you Hayden Panettiere for bringing postpartum to the forefront for open and honest discussions among other women suffering as well! Honestly, I am not at all surprised by the recent announcement that Hayden is seeking treatment for Postpartum, my heart goes out to her, as a person who has personally suffered from both depression and postpartum depression, I fully get the realm of what she is going through.
Recently Hayden Panettiere made an appearance that I viewed on Live! Kelly & Michael speaking from her heart about postpartum depression. Hayden described how hard it was to live through and what she WAS going through. Unfortunately(IMO) the only person who had much to say is co-host Michael and even his words hardly were supportive or comforting they were just words. Postpartum Depression and Depression and not things that can be laughed off, rather they are ‘things’ that need tended to and it can take a ‘tribe’ to help you heal, in addition to any outside help you seek.
I have 3 children and after number 3 was born, I slipped into an abyss, a dark, deep hole, where crying was the norm, sweats were all I wanted and inactivity ruled my world. Feelings of neglect from others, horror with my body, and that life was coming to an end, all were on my mind 24 hours a day. My husband came home one night and just found me balling and crying on the floor and the next day I was at a specialist getting help. What my OB-GYN had never done is talk to me, and get a gauge on how I was doing after pregnancy, rather he just sent me off and checked in on my physical condition, nothing else. Postpartum Depression is not made-up, it is not an attention-seeking Munchausen by Proxy thing, the depression gets worse and worse it is just like self destruction, trust me I was on the path.
When Hayden eventually tells her whole story, I would not at all be surprised to hear that she felt, anxious, overtired, irritated, hopeless, sad, or just unable to feel anything, all possible symptoms of Postpartum Depression. In fact, if you look at the possible symptoms of not be able to sleep, you kind of get what can happen. In my case, I felt horrible about myself, I was anxious about everything and could not sleep. Lack of sleep led to more bad feelings and being easily irritated(lack of sleep) so one symptom just moves you into the next, it is a vicious circle. SEEK HELP.
My disappointment for Hayden Panettiere is within the Live! Kelly & Michael. The day that Hayden was on the with Kelly & Michael I just felt that the interview was all off.
I realize a lot of you may feel differently that what I am about to write, but I will tell you this is my honest opinion. No one has asked me to write this, it is just how I feel and something that I observed. I have a feeling of disappointment towards a person I thought was a good person(Kelly Ripa), someone who I thought ‘got’ other women. This is not a personal attack on Ripa, I am just trying to understand why she was not more compassionate on-air? I feel badly for Hayden that in such a time of greatness, that first year after the birth of a child, she has suffered and not felt on top of it, because postpartum is so rough. The range of emotions a body and a person experiences are so vast and if one just holds on tight, it is hard to explain.
After seeing the last tweet from Cathriona White, I kind of just feel like no one is paying attention to their friends and colleagues, it just seems like everyone is so invested in self, that the signs that are just right there, are not being watched and tragic events are happening. I look at that as a missed opportunity to help someone who is calling out, to be helped. Much of my feelings of that have translated to a recently aired episode on Live! Kelly & Michael. While I don’t have any inside scoop on Hayden, I just have read the tweets and watched the Live! Kelly & Michael show that I will refer to. I am not a Hollywood Insider, but I am compassionate towards people and I do have feelings. This is what I think has happened…..
I believe that the day that Hayden Panettiere was on Live! Kelly & Michael she was feeling herself being pulled under by the paralysis of this overwhelming depression. My guess is, she felt worse that day than she had in a long time?
Here is the interview on Kelly & Michael where you see Hayden discussing postpartum and stating “it’s really painful, it’s really scary” this is HAYDEN talking about personal feelings, reach out KELLY please. But Kelly, as another woman, as a MOM, just never steps in, never sources, never really acknowledges, rather she just goes on about HERSELF and her cameo in Nashville……. Where is a woman supporting a woman, where is someone saying, “I get you!”? Where is the hug?
I guess you could say I am looking for that AHA moment, that moment where Kelly gets real, and takes off that smile and adds compassion and friendship out there. I want a real life story that shows someone doing something good for another, acknowledging, listening, not trying to get their own platform talked about!
Kelly opens the discussion about postpartum up by leading Hayden into the conversation about Juliette on Nashville. Then Hayden states that Juliette, her character has gone through postpartum depression and states, “It is something I can very much relate to” and you hear Kelly in the background just saying, “Um Hm” and then Hayden goes on.
Hello, Hayden is discussing real life, not reality, not reality tv, she wants to talk, help her, acknowledge, discuss….. this is life!!! Real issues, real things, shed the light on postpartum!
THIS IS HAYDEN’S CALL FOR HELP!!!! ~~~ and her need to be acknowledged for something that is real and painful, she asked quite publicly with or without knowing, but some people were so into self, that it seems to just have been passed over. Did anyone hear her cry for pain acknowledgment? Hayden was so professionally proper, she smiled, and spoke so poignant on the subject, and kept on speaking without any real feedback from her hosts! DISAPPOINTED? I was.
When Hayden gets to the part that she says, “women need to be told that they are not alone” where exactly is Kelly on this? Why did she have nothing to say? You can see that the discussion is painful in Hayden’s face(even though she is smiling, look at her eyes). Kelly is a mom and a superstar, but where is the compassion? Kelly’s big add into the conversation, “THERE seems to be some deep shame in this” really, that is the best you can do, not “Oh, Hayden the struggle is real, or I feel ya!? ” Nothing like showing her exactly what she said she feels, “people just think this is made up” … Acknowledging feelings, is the first step in being kind!
When Hayden brings up the point that she “thinks a lot of people out there think it is not real” Kelly just says, “Uhmm” Kelly, I thought you were just so much more, you seem to be bigger than life, full of personality, but the time that you need to be where is that sunshine? The warmth?
As Hayden continues to discuss, she states that “women are amazing and we do something that no man can do on this planet” and Michael steps in and makes light of it and a little joking goes on, yet Kelly just sits tight, with no expression, and seemingly no care.
My upset falls towards Kelly Ripa, who is a mom herself, and someone who is supposed to be so relatable, kind and cool. However, what I saw and see each time I watch the video is a disconnected Kelly who does not really seem to engage in the discussion of Postpartum, and more importantly does not even just take Hayden’ hand, giving it a squeeze, or just a hug, because Women supporting women is a strength not a weakness. How cool would it have been if right then and there, Kelly talked a little bit about life?
I know Ripa is not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but she is a women, and women need to help women. Hayden was there speaking candidly about a real life subject(she speaks realism and from the heart and Kelly is just all smoke and mirrors?) Honestly, I don’t care if they guest starred in the Nashville, I care that Hayden gets better, that her call for help was right on television and NO ONE seemed to pick up on it. The change in subject should have been sensed, and the discussion would have changed my respect towards the show and its hosts. Am I the only person in the world that listens to what someone has to say and values it? I really doubt that is possible. I just wanted Kelly to be the person that we all believe she is, and that is why we tune in daily right?
Thankfully Hayden sought help, but how many women are out there that have not? How many women don’t even know what they are experiencing? This is where I feel that LIVE! Kelly & Michael could have helped but failed. The interview was most awkward and I truly hope that Kelly has more compassion with people than the lack she showed that day, as I am disappointed. I do hope that Live! Kelly & Michael will have Hayden back on, so that she can interactively discuss Postpartum, not as an expert, but as a person we can all relate to, as a real voice behind what happens, shedding some light on just how awful you can feel. When and if Hayden does come on, I truly hope that Kelly will be more the person I have come to know from watching, than the person I watched not interact that day in September. Hayden, get well soon and I am so glad that you have sought help, as this is not something you can battle through on your own!
*I am not a Dr., I am not offering medical advice, I am speaking my opinion only, yours may differ. My experiences made her discussion real, and I love that someone has opened up about the subject. Seek medical attention if you think you are suffering from Postpartum Depression.