You know I am a very involved hockey mom but I will be the first to tell you my kid is not going to play in the NHL, and I love when he scores, but I also love when he and his team celebrate each other’s goals, and great plays.
Celebrating is part of playing sports it is the reward for a job well done and results in confidence-building and team spirit, but not every team plays the same or gets along.
My hockey mom pal and I were having an in-depth conversation the other day and suddenly she told me a story that kind of took me back,.
Then when I landed back on the ice my head felt like it had been struck with a puck.
This story is one that no matter how many times I have repeated it in the last few days, people are confused as to why anyone on a team would be so odd to another teammate.
Lavishly live ice hockey out loud with the story of the Hockey Hug.
The Hockey Hug
Our kids enjoy hockey but her story just made me wonder what people are teaching their kids and why anyone on a team would behave this way.
Their team is composed of boys and girls, just like ours and they play long hours, travel to rinks all over and spend time in practice a lot so it goes without saying the kids know each other well and they are very comfortable with one another.
There have been a few problems on their team from parents not getting along but that has been about it.
Our kids coincide fabulously to the point that the team spends time at the one coaches home who has a pool and massive theater, just so they can be together more.
During one of their most recent games, after a score was made, one of the children on the team hugged one of the girls on the team.
Score, Celebrate & Hockey Hug?
He scored and teammate to teammate in the normal celebratory manner he just grabbed whoever was closest and hugged them.
It just so happened to be a teammate that was a girl and she told him, “really, you would hug me, get off, it’s not that big of a deal, and get over it!”.
The team has not had a great team record as far as wins go, so any score was celebrated and my friend was teary-eyed when she told me about this.
What bothered her most is that the parent’s personalities are about the same, cold, callous and pretty unfriendly, even though they are part of the team.
What made my girlfriend sick to her stomach was not the hug being turned down, but the words that accompanied the whole episode.
What’s So Wrong With A Hockey Hug If You are Just Being Teammates?
Now for the icing on the puck: the parents refuse to cheer anyone on but their child!
Nor will the parents tell anyone on the team, “great job, great game, way to go, nice score.”
One of the parents went as far as to tell the boy that scored that if” he would have passed that puck, their daughter could have made the score!”
Now the parents began to bicker with each other because they felt that was an unfair comment and well you can see how this just all went west.
Shooting, Scoring, Totally Ignoring the Hockey Hug Issue
The kicker, to this story, as recanted by my hockey gal pal: their daughter was on the opposite end of the rink, there was no one open to pass to it was shoot or don’t score.
Then my girlfriend went on to just download on me how this young player more or less just escorts the other team down the ice rather than challenge them.
Kind of in disbelief about the whole thing, and trying to help her shrug it off.
I shook my head and when I looked to the right another family was coming to chit chat to me and they told me the exact same story(yeah they all know I write)
All this chatter over a goal that should have been all in fun, and celebrated became a fighting point and it became the moment that would define this hockey team’s parents.
IT just all ended ….
What is going on is something that is not new, but it is not always discussed. What parents say to their kids, about other families does run through their kid’s veins and into their lives.
Children react and interact as they are ‘coached’ to do, and if you are bringing your child up to be cold and mean through your own wants and needs, it spills over onto the ice.
This story plays out in every arena around the world, it is just in different volumes. I feel bad because parents are still talking about the whole thing a year later.
As a result of this unfortunate turn of events, my girlfriend and her son have decided to leave their current organization and not to travel to any more of the season’s optional tournaments.
It is sad to hear a tale like this and you have to wonder how many other hockey parents have acted this way or have been faced with similar dilemmas?