The Christmas Card That Never Came

I have been waiting for a card that will never come. I have checked my mailbox over and over and I have checked through all the envelopes that arrive daily for that special handwriting, that special note, the card that says, ” I love you and Merry Christmas”, but I know deep down that the card is not coming.  I wish that I had not cleaned things up and that I would have kept cards that had the hand-writing on it that I was waiting for.  You know the card, I know you do, the one that has Merry Christmas, We Love You, underlined, then marked with x’s and o’s, it’s filled with love and you can feel it in every little word, written by the person who signed it. Lavishly living my life out loud, I am hurting down deep, and looking for what will never come again……

Once upon a time, in a lifetime that seems to be eons ago, I used to collect cards.  These cards were not cards like trading cards, rather, these cards were those from my grandparents, aunts, uncles and many others in my family.  As time passed along, my box of cards grew larger and larger, but I still held on to these cards as I found them to be a blessing and a reminder of love that was given to me! Fast forward to a new life, with kids, a want for a cleaner, less cluttered lifestyle and a continual need to clean-up, clean out and keep digital, a decision was made to begin to ‘toss out’ cards, and papers as they were just papers.  Somehow, papers are not just papers during the holidays. The holidays are a true time of reflection and often sadness for those that have lost a loved one and the music is biting while dancing in your head, it is just hard to overcome some things that you most want and will never get. 

  My thoughts today suddenly went back to those cards, dressed up in glitter, lace, perfect penmanship, and properly addressed envelopes, all things not found in the cards of today!  My youngest opened a card up from his grandmother and after he did, he gave it a hug, smiled and took it away to his room, where he put it in his own special box.  I smiled, as I knew why he was doing it, after all I was his mom, and the apple does not fall far from the tree, so my dad says! I would give anything for the feeling he had as he opened his card, proudly addressed in handwriting from my mom.  The warmth he felt, the specialness he knows, that will stay with him always.  Life changes in an instant and as it does, that one card  you want most will never be delivered again.

The holidays are not about the big things, they are not about the gifts, they are about family, friendship and kindness to one another.  The holidays are a time to cherish, and remember one another in cards, celebration and with phone calls. The card I am waiting for used to come in a pretty envelope, addressed to my husband and myself, with words of love, pride and happiness, and I could smell the soft scented hand-cream my mother-in-law used to use on her hands as she must have placed it on her hands before she began penning the card.  I can see her in my mind, placing her spectacles on and addressing piles of cards, and in each one a hand-written note to the end receiver because she knew the spirit of Christmas.  I know she would play music and sing along to her favorite Christmas Carols and of course seal every card with love.  Oh how I miss that card, the card that can never come again.  The envelope, the love, the special stamps, the handwriting.

This year, as you scroll through all your cards, appreciate the design, the messages, the handwriting and person who sent it!  The holidays are a time for remembering all the good and the year that has moved on by.  Collect those cards, cherish them and never let go of the special messages, keep them locked up and you will always have them with you. Lavishly live the spirit of  Christmas out loud and remember the love.  Merry Christmas.