Ladies and girls, this is about Your life. You and your life. It’s about you and yourself the epic duo of 1, where when you double down and win, you gain skill, backbone, and undeniable stability! The lonely side of being the only friend you have yet being you and yourself in the epic duo of 1 provides you the rare chance to stand on your own without worrying about being supported because you’ve got to. Double down on yourself and show up for your life before anyone else important to you will!
We’ve all been there, in friendships and relationships that strip us of who and what we are, but the most potent driving force you have going is you and yourself the epic duo of 1, and when you use both you and yourself, you double down and win your life back! Do it now!
Life is at its best when you are the queen or king of your own life, and if that is not happening, then you better take your throne back, and you do that by being you and yourself the epic duo of 1.
You need to be the support, the heart, the soul, and the life of your being, and if you are not, someone is stealing your wind, life, vigor, and positioning, so stop this shit!
Life can be what you make it, and don’t make it what your partner wants, or “Friends” want; make it what you want, and own your life by being able to show up for your life and owning every moment, live without regrets!
Channel the powers of the words “No Thank You” and “No” while asserting what you want, when you want it, and how you want it, defining the epic duo of you and yourself and you will have a fabulous year!
How To Show Up For Your Life Without Getting Burned Maybe?
For anyone wondering, these are simple steps that you can use to keep your inner flame strong, your life moving forward and yourself protected a bit from emotional deterioration.
Some might say it is like a wall made to keep others out, or is it a wall made to keep the sanity and avoid previous negative engagements to keep yourself afloat and eliminate unnecessary toxicity?
Our post will share what we have gathered from some very tight insiders we know. You may disagree, borrow, use or want to add more; tell us!
Is this the year where you find yourself, stand up for yourself, show up for your life, become the queen of your own castle, the leading lady of your life, and start finding the power of the words “No thank you” that ever effing life counselor seems to promote?
Freeing yourself from toxicity is a great purge for the new year, and honestly, you’ll feel relieved of commitments you didn’t want to tend to, when you really look and assess what you have going on that impacts the rest of your life.
Leaving behind bad leaves the path open to new, and while new is not always better, it allows you to look back and see if bad is present or if good is forward and ahead.
Where Are You Hiding? Get Out And Show Up For Your Life
Here are everyday happenings in friendship and relationships that create an otherwise strong woman not to be themselves, herself, and how the epic duo of 1 reigns supreme! (and really are you in healthy friendships if this is going on or even relatsionships)
- When a partner’s sister invades your relationship
- When what you consider a friend ends up doing what you asked with someone else
- When you always have to be the one on the move to MEET up with them, and they stay at their home
- When you communicate far more than you are communicated to via partners/spouses/friends
- When a friend is only there when they need something, not when you need something
- When your friends always send the kids to your home so they can have time to themselves, but when you ask to send your kids to their home, the door is always closed!
- When your partner/spouse is still about the family, they grew up with and less about the life you both are making
- When marriage is the second seed, but their family is first, and you are not considered his family
- You have a daughter, and your partner/spouse treats her like the leading lady instead of the supporting actress
- Your friend is about you only after she is about her
- you are first in no one’s life but your own, and you put yourself after everyone else
- Your friend comes around when they are sick, in a bad financial situation, or needs comfort but forgets about your issues
- Your friend comes around when THEY need something
- Your possessions are always requested at parties, so they don’t have to rent (tables, chairs, coolers), but when the reverse is requested it is met with a “NO” (petty as it sounds after years of being used it does grate on one’s nerves)
- your friend has no words of wisdom when you are down but feels betrayed if you are not there for her
- Your friend claims to have no other friends but has other people she turns to, and you get half-truths
- You share everything you know, but the other person doesn’t give back.
Do you fit any of the above? Sorry, but you are not the only one that is not you and the epic duo of 1; there are many of you in the world.
Dealing With You And Yourself The Epic Duo of 1
You’ve been blessed and have a gift, as you can care for yourself and stand tall no matter what happens, even if you are lonely.
If you have been burned by people over and over, don’t feel bad; take away what you have learned from the situation and move on.
Most likely, you have learned that no friendship is forever and that people are assholes, you are already ahead of the curve, and you definitely can be the queen of your own castle.
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You’ll Marry Into Crazy. You Have To Show Up For Your Life
Often when discussing this topic with friends, I’ve come to find out that many treat their marital relationships like a job, where they are part of something yet, must be able to hold their own and support their stance to move forward.
It is genuinely an interesting vibe and sentiment, yet I agree do you?
No matter what you marry into, you don’t have to meld or agree with it; show up for your life. Be there to be a cohesive person, smile, and move through it.
Do you know why? You and yourself are the epic duo of 1, and you’ll soon learn that no one is stronger or better than yourself and that the other family is missing what they could have as a friendship or a great relationship is their loss.
If your partner doesn’t stick up for you in intense family discussions, say prayers to GOD that he sticks it up his ass and be the queen of your own castle but stand behind whatever you mean to say when you say it, and don’t move from your emotion or your positioning on a topic. Remember, opposites can attract, and everyone has the right to their own opinion. Disagreeing with their views doesn’t mean you are not normal.
Say what you think, and have no remorse. You need to show up for your life; if the family does not fit it, you are married to your partner, not them, so be you and yourself the epic duo of 1.
However it ends, or wherever the pieces fall, let it fall because you always held your own and were true to yourself!
Remember, behind every challenge is an open door to strength, and you can handle this! It’s called doubling down by being true to yourself and holding your position for yourself.
Be The Queen Of Your Castle
A few instances that are genuinely light overviews, but you’ll get the idea of how to be the queen and not the princess.
Whether you are throwing yourself a housewarming party and the people coming to decide that no matter what you serve, they need to be assholes by bringing their own drinks and treats to a fully hosted party instead of enjoying cake and amazing appetizers, move through it. It’s not an insult it is pure stupidity on their part and a childish act of jealousy.
When you send out invites for a party, you add special stamps to match the theme. Someone sends a childish text that says, “aw, what are the critters on the front of the envelopes? Do they mean bring your pet” knowing damn well right that is not what it was, pass it off as judgment of being a detailed person and let it go!
If someone throws shade at your home and calls it a large lop-sided home and then suddenly remodels theirs, be the queen of your own castle, and remember imitation is the biggest source of flattery.
Or that time when a less-than-kind neighbor attends a party at your home and opens a closet door only to turn around and tell you that you need to spend time cleaning and organizing, just let it roll, you own your schedule, your life and why do you care what they say? You don’t; move on!
Married? Dating? Navigating the Family Ain’t Easy
Show up for our life, always; that means no matter where you go, be you and don’t hide your truths, values, or who you are. You are not a sellout!
You’ll come to learn that at least one of the siblings in every family is more attached to friends than family, and while your spouse/partner won’t get it until that sibling doesn’t show up for anything important, you got it early because you and yourself, the epic duo of 1 got it long ago you can remain unphased. Your partner/spouse will need to process what just happened you don’t!
You will be ok. Your partner will not, but you already felt and went through all the emotions earlier, without them understanding or justifying your feelings, and now you can walk away as they try to process so you can focus on how to show up for your life. Don’t waste time helping them process; who cares? You tried to share this long ago; keep moving forward!
The Sibling That Never Was
Be the queen of your castle, which starts with never worrying or seeking out that sibling that never was. You may not admit it, but we all have one of these, and you know what? What you never had, you can’t miss.
Ashley Orman hit it on the head with her quote, “You can’t make up for a lost time. You can only do better in the future.”
When you have been left in the dust for years and suddenly discovered with the dust brushed off, keep being the queen of your castle and be you and yourself the epic duo of 1, because time has passed that you can’t gather back.
No worries, whatever is out there will still try to be part of you, but it can never be the same because somewhere in the path of life, you were dropped off their bus, and just because they had a sudden reckoning doesn’t require you to stop your life and try again.
You’ve gone years without them, and while a joyous reunion might feel good, will they show up for your life, for are they there to get something for themselves?
Facetious or honest? A bit of both!
My Questions For That Family Member or Friend:
- “Where were you when I was at my lowest low and highest high.”
- “where were you for all the birthdays, love, and laughter.”
- “where were you, and why now? Are you here to show up for your life or mine?”
- “After we rekindle, what happens?”
The Partner – Friend- Family Member That Never Really Got You
Life will show you the path, and you need to follow it, but what comes next may not have you cheering, but it will let you and yourself the epic duo of 1 show up for your life.
If they never got you, never supported you, belittled you, or never had your back, walk farther down that path without them.
Everyone out there has someone waiting for them; you need to take the plunge and find them.
Block the negative from your texts, emails, and life! Keep them out, and keep moving forward.
We all have one person in our lives from our partner’s/spouse’s side that is a total “wet blanket” until they feel like being part of stuff on their terms.
Fuck that! When you have had enough, take the stand, and stop the insanity!
It’s freeing when a person you have endlessly tried to be kind to keeps fucking you over, and your partner/spouse is oblivious until it hits them where it hurts; then and only then will they show up for your life with you!
When friendship circles of THREE don’t work, break the wheel, and meet with the ONE that the friendship does work with. You never need to be part of what is not a good thing, but YOU my friend, must take the step to bow out, no one can do this for you.
How To Show Up For Your Life
In many ways, relationships should be given and taken, but they often come down to “tit for tat,” and no matter what counselor you see, if they don’t say that, they are liars!
Everyone has this side to them that is true, “you do, then I’ll do; otherwise, fuck you!”
- If someone shares something, share something of lesser value back from secrets to whatever
- When a family member tries to rekindle, step slow, show up for your life and theirs after (they have been absent, no need to rush, because you and yourself the epic due of 1 have been doing just fine)
- When your partner’s/spouse’s sibling suck, don’t fight; stop being passive and find alternatives to spending time with them because you don’t need to be sucked into the negative.
- Please stop trying to be kind to people who keep taking from you, whether it is your friend’s (are they really) partner’s time or your time; stop. You owe nothing to anyone, especially those who cannot show up for your life or your family!
- When friends are one-sided, you need to stop being so available because there are two sides to friendship: give and takes! When Take is the only one implemented, it is unhealthy, so purge it!
- Don’t accept one-sided texting and communication
- Don’t show up on time when the other people are always late; make a statement by doing the same, and when confronted, just explain, “oh, I thought this was the norm, it’s how you are every time we meet so…” (yes a little tit for tat but a profound statement on your feeling of how things seem to go!
- Don’t feel the need always to be the planner. Let others plan, too; it’s OK!
- When others don’t remember you when you have a family member that has just died or someone in your close circle that has just passed on, it truly is time to reassess the relationship, as friendship and family should be there in your time of need, not just when they feel like it. A simple text of “I’m Sorry” and not a “Can you tell your wife we are sorry” doesn’t work.
- When someone suddenly pops back into your life, don’t get overexcited, be there and see how the new appearance could impact your life.
The Power Of No Thank You Is Freeing and Awesome
Use the three words NO THANK YOU and live a different life and actually show up for your life because you and yourself the epic duo of 1 will OWN these words to define your own life, and not live everyoen else’s!
There used to be 2 word phrase that often caught everyone’s attention, known as “Thank You” and it was important to use however, life counselors have single-handedly begun using the word in reverse, like a saber sword to help you take control and take the power of your every action and potential emotoin before you have to go into battle.
- If you are constantly asked to be the DD, politely decline with a “No Thank You.”
- If your parents always offer to send leftovers with you after you’ve spent time together, say “no thank you.”
- When you don’t want to go somewhere, you have been offered to use the words “No, thank you.”
- When offered a drink, you don’t want to decline it with a simple “no thank you.”
- When you have been offered a time to meet up that you don’t feel like, meet it with a “no thank you.”
- When given an article of clothing, you don’t want to use the 3 words to decline it without offense.
- When given the option to take furniture from your parent’s home that you don’t want, say “No, Thank You.”
- If your parents offer anything you do not want, politely decline.
What does It feel Like When You Show Up For Yor Own Life?
Go Against Every Life Counselor, Be You Yourself And The Epic Duo of 1
- Build a wall, and get rid of the crap
- Block negativity, including texts from people that are less than there for you EVER
- Own each moment of your life and worry less about everyone that never worried about you
- Keep your family close and your enemies closer
- Say what you mean, own your feelings and share them no matter how anyone else reacts. YOU own those.
- You and yourself the epic duo of 1 can’t be epic if you don’t say what you want, so say it and expect the ROI
- Rid terrible friends and partners.
- Remember, if someone has been absent for a long time, you already know how to move on without them
- Use a filter and don’t let negativity in, you got this!
Always remember, you need to be your own force, You Are the Only One, You Can Count On You Yourself And You As Your #1 Friend!